Rich Koslowski: Writer, Artist, Genius
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Yes, as I'm sure most of you noticed while watching SportsCenter last Wednesday night, Karl's Country Market's softball team--of which yours truly is the manager and star centerfielder--started out the 2007 season with a resounding 28-1 victory which was highlighted by 5 home runs (one by yours truly)! The crush of interviews following the game only slightly diminished the high we all flew on that night. It was unfortunate that our newest member, Scott "Hengin' with" Engen, got into a shoving match with Stuart Scott from ESPN when Stuart refused to give our Scott his patented "Boo-Yah!" after our Scott chugged a bottle half filled with Randy McMahon's expectorated chewing tobacco--our Scott was very inebriated and I think he was just trying to fit in with his new teammates. The situation was quickly defused, though, and Stuart and Engen ended up leaving together. So, all's well that ends well.

But, yes, our softball team is off to a rousing start (did I mention I hit one over the fence and went 5 for 5 also hitting for the cycle?) and we have our eye on the prize this season. The prize being the consumption of many bratwurst made at the aforementioned Karl's Country Market which is owned and operated by my pop, KARL! My pop's a world champion sausagemaker. He's won state, national and world medals for his recipes. Yep, I could be making a good deal of money had I decided to work in the family biz. But I have "the curse." Some refer to my abilities as a "gift." Those people have never spied my checkbook.

But, the sausage my father produces at his store is world-class and if you're ever in Menomonee Falls, WI make sure to stop in and sample the goods. You'll be leaving with a shopping cart full of stomach-warming goodness. You can also order and have items shipped nation-wide! Just give 'em a call over at Karl's and they'll set you up...262-252-3090

Moving on...

I have sent out all the propoganda (postcards, bookmarks, emails, review copies, phonecalls, interviews, etc.) I could think of to pimp my new book, THE LIST, the past 3 weeks. The book's in this month's "Previews" catalogue with the order forms due in to shops in the next couple days. So now I just sit tight and hope the orders come in. I'll know by the 3rd week in June so I have a bit of sweating to do in the interum. Regardless, though, of what the numbers are I am trying my very best not to "sweat it." And I am failing miserably. It's impossible to be aloof when it comes to these things. You put so much work into a project it's human nature to fret over its success, or lack thereof. I'm a worrier when it comes to these deals. I don't sleep much. What am I going to do.

So, to summarize, not only do I not make any money at this but it's also extremely stressful.

And they call it a "gift" lest you've forgotten.

I have a prediction, though, and you heard it here first. THE LIST will do all right by all accounts as far as sales go in book form. And that's what I'm expecting. BUT! BUT!!! It's going to get the attention of the Hollywood peeps. Feel free to start the rumors. Please. And I'm not joking here. To a person, everyone who has heard the concept behind the book has said, "That'd make a cool movie." So if you're a hollywood producer, director, or know one or the other gimme a shout out. The option is still available as of my writing this and I'm a lot of fun at the negotiation table!

And in other movie news, the first draft of THE 3 GEEKS MOVIE has been written by Jeremiah Hall and I must say all involved are absolutely delighted with it! There needs to be some polishing but not a whole heck of a lot. It's shaping up and looking like it's going to be a heckuvalotta fun!



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