Rich Koslowski: Writer, Artist, Genius
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Hey kids. The holidays are (mercifully) over and it's back to work for this poor bastard.

I made an interesting observation over the holidays, however, that in the past 15 years I had previously been remiss in noticing! As some of you may know the Green Bay Packers and their Hall-Of-Fame quarterback--one Mr. Brett Lorenzo Favre (rhymes with carve for those who are wondering)--have been doing exceptionally well this season. In fact, they have exceeded everyone and anyone's expectations--including their own team members, including Brett Lorenzo. I admit that I had them finishing 7 and 9 at best!

Anyways, the thing that I noticed that I previously had missed was the striking similarities between Brett Lorenzo's charmed life and my own! It's really uncanny! See if you we go...

1) Both fine looking individuals.

2) Tall in stature.

3) Terrific physiques.

4) Obviously gifted with athletic ability.

5) Charming as all Hell.

6) Similar age-wise.

7) Both have a propensity to acquire, formulate and pass large quantities of gas (i.e. we both toot a lot).

8) Both married fine looking ladies.

9) Both DESERVE fine looking ladies.

10) Both adored by legions of fans (just a slight discrepancy in the number of fans we each have).

11) Both took a shine to Vicodan (albeit he enjoyed his stint on the "don't care" pill a wee bit longer than me).

12) And we both wore braces at one time (although I had mine when I was 12 not 25).

The only dissimilarities seem to be...

1) The accent.

2) The love for mowing the grass (he loves, I do not).

3) And lastly, our vocations. Of which he has done exceedingly well, achieved the heights of success even the biggest of dreamers could never possibly conceive of, reached the seemingly impossible pinnacle of achievement and success and then leapt high off of it and miraculously seemed to touch the very hand of God himself and was lifted yet even higher to even more glorious and marvelous heights heretofore thought impossible even by God Himself (or Herself don't want to offend any of the ladies), and did so with the humility of the most common and gracious of men, all the while amassing and surpassing just about every important quarterback--and football player for that matter--record there ever was and possibly ever will be, and while doing all that reaping the most lavish of rewards and praise along the way, the least of which millions and millions and millions of dollars in player contract and endorsement deals!

While I, on the other hand, have not.

So, as you can clearly see...aside from those 3 small differences we're very much alike.



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