Rich Koslowski: Writer, Artist, Genius
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UGH!

Been awhile but I have about 12,000 reasons why I haven't blogged in 2-3 weeks. My house looks like a bomb went of inside. As some of you may know, my roofer botched his job 6 weeks ago and as a result rain came inside by the bucket full (literally) and cause severe damage to 3 levels of our home. We're now starting week 7 of Hell here at casa Koslowski and it looks like we've got a couple more weeks to go. Saying that this has been an inconvenience would be putting it very mildly.

Here's what we've all had to do as a result of 4 nincompoop roofers who were too friggin' lazy to just DO THERE JOB AND TARP THE EXPOSED ROOF!...

We have had to move three full rooms full of furniture, books, boxes, clothes, etc. into the other already FULL rooms of our home so the workers could do their work. One of these room was my studio...a lot of shit up there! Nowhere to go with all this shit. Nowhere to go.

No. Where!

So we had no choice but to have an impromptu Rummage Sale. Move it all right downstairs and out onto the front lawn and sell it. Sell it all. Did pretty well actually.

I am now set up working on a crummy old desk in the dining room of our home where we also have boxes full of crap stacked high.

The workers are constantly coming through and kicking up dust and asking questions and moving stuff and I'm moving stuff for them and they're sometimes here at 8 am and sometimes don't show up until 6 pm at night and the whole thing has been an ordeal that makes me want to punch my fist right through someone's throat then pull the body down the front stairs and hurtle it right into that massive eyesore of a dumpster that's been parked out in front of our house for the past 2 weeks!...

Breathe...must remember to breathe.

Oh yeah, I see that a few kind neighbors have been secreting their own shit into our dumpster at night as well. Isn't that just lovely.

I would be remiss to point out the absolute joy we have derived from having to deal with the Insurance Agent as well. Can anyone say "stress"?

OH! OH! I almost forgot. After the roof was finished some 4 weeks ago--all brand spanking new and lovely and all--we had some follow-up rainfalls. Not nearly as bad as the "houses being swept away" rainfalls we had that started this whole ordeal but a couple pretty significant ones nonetheless.

Guess what?

Aha...yep...you guessed it! More rain coming into our house!!!! Yessir, more rain trickling in. So we call good ole Skip Kubiak once again and tell him rain's coming in. He curses, acts shocked and promises me a crew right away. Two days later they show up, caulk around a window and with wide grins assure me the problem's solved in there broken english.They spent about 15 minutes here.

Oh, two three days later we have another rainfall. Guess what? Yep, you guessed it! More leaking.

And I should point out here now that the interior repairs now have to wait because they can't put up new drywall if there's still water coming in, right? No they cannot.

So I call good ole Skip Kubiak again (he's the roofer BTW in case you didn't know) and tell him we still HAVE FRIGGIN' WATER COMING INTO OUT FRIGGIN' HOUSE! he assures me that a crew will be there first thing in the morning to fix it. I request a crew that I can communicate with. I don't think it's too much to ask for at this point, do you?

2 days later they arrive.

They're up there on the roof for about 10 minutes and they're done. You gotta be kidding.

I go outside and get the lowdown from crew number two. Apparently there was a hole the main guy could fit his fist into on the dormer where the leak was coming in. Apparently a hole that size isn't visible to the other, previous crews. He says it's fixed now and we shouldn't have any more leaks. So I relate this news to the interior work crew and they proceed with the fixes inside.

We've had a couple light rains since. No leaks. Not yet. But let me tell you that we sit here sweating every time we see even a light gray cloud hovering above our house up there in the sky. And if we hear the distant rumble of thunder I pee my pants a little...just a short little squirt, but I pee myself nonetheless.

So, the ordeal continues. And this is why I have been remiss in my blogging duties fair friends. Forgive me.

In other brief news...

WizardWorld, Chicago was a great show for me. I sold a lot of stuff and sketched my butt off producing some of the finest con sketches I've ever produced. But the show took a very sad turn when the news of Michael Turner's passing hit. His long battle with bone cancer came to an end the Thursday night of the show. He was only 37 years old. I only met Mike a couple times at the big card tournaments there but we hit it off rather well. He seemed to appreciate my bawdy poker table talk and we shared quite a few belly laughs together. He was truly a nice guy and I was very saddened to hear of his passing. The world of comics and the world in general has lost one very nice human being and Lord knows we need more of those.

Next week I'm off to Comic-Con and will be camped in Artist's Alley, so if you're going make sure to come by and visit. I can also be found wobbling through the streets of the Gaslamp District at night buzzed out of my gourd on Guinness beer. So if you bump into me there give me a big bearhug and let's knock back a few together.

Thassit! Still haven't seen the Hulk yet cuz of alla the b.s. going on here but I plan on that tomorrow! And then Hellboy II. Finally caught Spider-Man 3 on dvd the other day...wow. This is a very, VERY close second to Batman and Robin for worst movie ever friggin' made, folks. We were embarrassed for Toby McGuire. This movie sucked ass so bad it was awkward to watch. Sam Raimi lost his mind on this one and please, Note to Producers, do not let these directors write their scripts! Total suck-assishness on this movie from start to finish. wow.

word.

r

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