It occurred to me today that I hadn't blogged in awhile. Then it occurred to me that I had a lot to chime in on about but nothing that anyone would probably want to hear. Or that it might offend. And these days I just can't afford to offend anyone. Y'know, burning bridges and all...so i shall refrain from blogging anything too controversial.

Okay, like, for instance I could've chimed in on something like this...

Glad Gadaffi got whacked today. Yep, some of you would cringe and say, "No one...no human being should be executed. No one has the right to––" where I would then cut you off in my mind and say "Shut up. Screw you. He was evil scum breathing good human's air. A cancer, and what do we do with cancer?...we cut it out!" So there. See, if I were to have blogged this I probably would've pissed some of you off.

Or...

My Brewers lost in the NLCS to the Cardinals. Sucks. I am sick of the small market teams having almost NO chance of ever winning a World series in today's economic set up in pro baseball. To which 20+ million NY Yankees fans will actually argue "that they're playing within the rules and doing nothing wrong. It's fair." To which I would then say, "Suck it! You're a-holes and you know it." See, I win, obviously, but those comments could potentially offend.

Or pose a question like the following...

"Why in the HELL does Hollywood keep paying Adam Sandler sick amounts of money to shit out the crappiest movies ever made? And WHY IN THE HELL DO SO MANY IDIOT PEOPLE KEEP PAYING GOOD MONEY TO GO SEE THEM?" I might have blogged that question after seeing the latest trailer for his latest movie Jack and Jill where he plays a set of twins; a man and his sister. It (of course) looks absolutely asinine (as do all his movies) and yet it will go on to make all kinds of money as the sheep pay to see it.

See, if I were to actually voice this opinion it could offend some of our population with lower IQs and I wouldn't want to be perceived as being insensitive to the mentally challenged. So I won't blog about how I think all of Adam Sandler's movies suck.

Nor will I rag more about how the Chinese are effed up beyond repair after seeing the disgusting video of a 2-year-old girl being run over (twice) within 8 minutes and how dozens of passersby saw, yet chose to ignore her as she lay there in the street dying. No, I shall refrain from condemning these apathetic monsters because some of you will, no doubt, stand up for them and blame the government (theirs or ours). To which I would probably say something like, "I hope your next trip is to China and you get run over."

Nope, not gonna rant about these things that have been nagging at me lately.

Like I said in the title, "I got nuthin'" to say today so I shall refrain.

word.

R

I wrote my title as such because we happened to watch the movie A LAW ABIDING CITIZEN last night, starring Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx and it just got me thinking... Movie was MUCH better than I thought it would be BTW. Anyway, it got me thinking about how lousy our "justice" system is at times. Yeah, I know, better that 12 guilty people go free than 1 innocent and all that crap...blah, blah, blah... But in a case like this one or the OJ trial we need to use just a hair of common sense. Of course I truly believe that 90% of the world lacks common sense so the point is moot, I guess.

Anyway, in the movie Gerard's character goes on a rampage after the "justice" system frees one of his family's murderers on a "technicality"...such as with Casey's, y'know, lack of concrete evidence and all.

Movie felt good. Just, y'know, got me thinking...

Um, NO, I would NEVER suggest anyone do what Gerard's character did. But everyone down in the Orlando area really should watch this movie.

Because it's a good movie is all... Far better than we thought it would be.

Just sayin'....

Word.

R

Good times.

So I guess I'll be "eBaying" a bit more over the next few weeks so go and take a gander at the goodies. I'll have more Archie and BB Wolf original art posted as well as comics and graphic novels and more dvd sets. My ebay user ID is "poo666" if you want to find my specific items and I'll have new ones starting tomorrow, June 21st! YES!

In other news...

XMen: First Class was great! The secondary characters were a bit flat but that was our only real gripe. Great story and Magneto and Prof X were both riveting. Highly recommended. Next up is Green Lantern.

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R

Best Burger: Okay, we moved from Milwaukee, WI to Santa Cruz, CA a while back and finding a comparable burger to the ones we were used to mowing down took some doing (pizza too! Lotta crappy pizza here! Florida too, whassup with that?!). But we finally found a few good places to get a good burger. Betty's Burgers, Aptos Burger Company and Burger. to name a few. But the best burgers in Santa Cruz county (that we've found so far) belong to COLES BBQ and BITTERSWEET BISTRO. Delectable!!! BTW the best burgers in Milwaukee (and there are a lot of them!) go to CULVERS (best burger chain anywhere! Take a cue from them all you other fast food burger joints! You're not anywhere in their league!) and TRINITY (Irish pub in Downtown Milwaukee--get the "Other Burger" Best in the world!)

Honorable Mention must go out to the BBQ joints in the area out here though. While it was tough to find a good burger or pizza for a long time there's no shortage of great BBQ! The aforementioned Coles does a good job but two even better BBQ joints are SMOQE and APTOS STREET BBQ right down the road from our house. Their pulled pork and Tri Tip sandwiches are dazzling!

Worst Burger: Well if any of you read my blog a couple months back you know it is hands down the Dairy Queen Mushroom & Swiss puker! God awful piece of garbage that they should be run out of business over. For shame DQ...For shame.

Best Wine: Man! Since we've moved to CA we have really gotten into touring all the wineries. A LOT of fun and we were STUNNED by how many quality wines are produced right here in Santa Cruz! There are over 200 in the Santa Cruz area! The best we've encountered so far has to be WINDY OAKS Pinot though. It's really shocking when you tout winery after winery and encounter so many fantastic wines that are all fairly equal in their quality but then taste one that's noticeably better! That's what happened when we tried Windy Oaks.

Best Comic Book 2010: Well, it's obviously BB WOLF AND THE THREE LPS. I mean really! But there were a few notable runner ups. I discovered BLACKSAD by Dark Horse this year, and although it is a reprint of the foreign edition the collection was in 2010 and bears mentioning as it's some of the most amazing artwork I've ever seen. makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing even picking up a pencil it's that good! I also enjoyed seeing THOR finally get his due after decades of being a second class hero over at Marvel. He's always been one of my favorite characters and I'm glad to see his comics doing so well and being handled so well.

Worst Comic Book: I'm a a HUGE Avengers fan and Bendis fan but enough's enough already. The whole Avengers Disassembled/Civil War/Secret Invasion/Blah Blah Blah thing has gone on long enough! What'd that take to "wrap up"? 5? 7? Ten years? (Is it wrapped up yet? I can't honestly remember? What?...NO?...Okay, I guess it's still running) And how many issues and crossovers etc. did it encompass? By Crom who can afford to buy all the individual issues? Certainly not me. And the fine folks over at DC went and were almost as bad with their own massive "Event" book Blackest Night. I couldn't afford to follow both so I went Avengers as a lifelong fan but from what I've heard I didn't miss much with Blackest Night/Brightest Day/Foggy Week/Somewhat Rainy Year...which is still going I guess?...Izzat right?

Best Music: After we saw the great movie Crazy Heart with the great Jeff Bridges I had to buy the album! Awesome stuff and Jeff Bridges and Colin Farrell can sing!!! Very nice surprise. Anyway, the real star here is someone I'd never heard of before but instantly placed right up there with all my favorites...RYAN BINGHAM. His song from Crazy Heart "The Weary Kind" one the Oscar for Best Song and it's a well-deserved win I can assure any of you who haven't heard it. Americana at its best--soulful, lyrical, emotional, sparse, evocative and masterful use of instruments! I love picking out the cello, kettle drums and other various instruments that they use.

Anyway, Ryan Bingham, folks. After buying the CH soundtrack I immediately went out and purchased more Ryan Bingham and have enjoyed all of it immensely.

Okay, onto the SUPERBOWL!!! YES! The Green Bay Packers have made it by winning three straight must win road games. Unreal! I would think that anyone with even half a brain must by now realize that Aaron Rodgers is as good a quarterback as Brett Favre ever was. And only time will tell if he ends up being even better. He may not achieve some of Favre's records due to his amazing longevity, but on a per game basis, by the numbers he will stack up. And I'm going to go out on a line here and guess we'll get less than one one-hundredth the drama from Rodgers.

So they're up against the Steelers and my runner-up for Worst Athlete of the year Ben Douchelessberger. I would hope everyone (even Steelers diehards) has the sense to root against this a-hole. Maybe not all of his teammates but at least him.

So I am, of course, hoping the Packers win and I think they have a great chance. Great QB, coach and offense and defense but their one major weakness is the Special Teams. If they can play even average the Packers win 27-21. If the Packers lose it'll be because of their Special Teams.

Alright, that's it for this blog. I've finally ended my Holiday Sale on some of the items on the website but have kept a few at the reduced prices just because I'm that nice of a fella. Thanks to all who ordered goodies over the holidays and I hope you liked whatever it was you purchased.

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r

BREAKING NEWS!!!...NOBODY CARES ANYMORE!!!!

And the aforementioned Brett Favre tops my "Best and Worst List of 2010"

And so, let's lead this blog off with the category of "WORST ATHLETE OF 2010"...BRETT LORENZO FAVRE!

BTW, I think that the whole "concussion" thing that kept him out the last two games of this season was really a secret suspension handed down by the league after the whole Jenn Sterger Sext scandal. We've all seen Favre take much harder hits on the field than the one that "supposedly" caused the concussion...haven't we?...hmmm??? Fishy.

Ben Roethlisberger was a very close 2nd on my list of "Worst" in the pro athletes category this past year. I mean the guy's a total tool and I don't think anyone, including his own teammates apparently, are going to refute this. Total a-hole. This douche (hey, that's Favre's nickname too!) does not deserve to be in the Superbowl this year so GO JETS!

"BEST ATHLETE OF 2010!"

Michael Vick for his amazing turn around and...wha?...HELL NO! I'm JOKING!!! Anyone who said that about Vick this year is a total idiot! The guy didn't "see the light" or "Pay for his crimes" or "find redemption and learn the error of his ways and he's such a great nice guy now, blah blah blah..." HE GOT CAUGHT DOING EXTREMELY AWFUL AND ILLEGAL THINGS! He'd still be killing dogs right now TODAY if he hadn't been caught. He's a despicable human being. You have to be to do what he was doing. No other explanation.

BEST ATHLETE goes to Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers! For maintaining dignity through the past 6 years while Douche #1 grabbed all the spotlight. He just kept doing his job and focused on his team. And now, even with a TON of injuries to the team, he has helped lead them deep into the playoffs with a strong possibility of making the Superbowl. I love the Pack, but I'm hoping for Aaron's sake that he makes it and wins it all so he can finally shut all the knuckleheads wearing "Favre blinders" up once and for all!

"BEST NEW TV SHOW OF 2010"

JUSTIFIED starring Timothy Olyphant! Awesome tv show filled with drama, humor, great and believable characters and the snappiest most well-written dialogue ever! And what would you expect since the show's based on an Elmore Leonard story. Leonard's the master of great dialogue. I've read just about all of his novels and this is by far one of the best adaptations of his work to the screen.

"BEST MOVIE OF 2010"

THE FIGHTER! The true story of boxer Micky Ward starring Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale. Riveting! And although Micky Ward wasn't a household name before this film he's always deserved more recognition. I followed his career the last couple years he fought and he was one of the grittiest fighters I'd ever seen. Good for him that this film is doing so well.

"BEST CARTOON OF 2010"

ADVENTURE TIME! on Cartoon Network is by far the best cartoon of 2010 and the best since the first couple seasons of SpongeBob or Flapjack! Adventure Time is hysterical! Not only are the storylines ridiculously clever and surreal (in a good way!) but the dialogue keeps us constantly giggling...the two main characters talking like "The Dude" from The Big Lebowski! Not only is this a great cartoon, it's just a flat-out great television show and I look forward to it as much as any "adult" show presently airing.

"WORST HUMAN BEINGS ON THE PLANET OF 2010!"

Nope, it's not Favre. Here's a few turds of human beings who personally screwed me over in the past year and beyond...First we have one Mr. Hogan Scott Courrier up in Marmosa, Canada. Owner of Geeks Galore Computer service store. This creep STOLE my artwork of my characters, "The 3 Geeks" that I did and has been using it for his store logo for the past 8 years illegally! I contacted him years ago in a very friendly way, even giving him the benefit of the doubt that it was an honest mistake, and asking him politely to remove the art. He refused and was quite the ass in doing so. He made many false claims on how he "obtained" the art and changed his story repeatedly over the next few years. I was finally forced to hire attorneys to pursue the matter legally and after many years and THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS (around $7K) out-of-pocket costs I won a decision in Canadian court! He was ordered to stop using the art and pay me for damages. He has done neither. The art is still on his storefront and he hasn't paid me a dime. And the court system up there is a joke. Apparently if I want to go after him for the money he owes I have to PAY MORE MONEY to hire collectors to pursue him. And getting the art off his store?!...short of going up there myself and painting over it I have no options. The courts up there are as useless as the courts down here! Which brings me to our next bunch of losers for 2010...

BERNARD AND JENNIFER HEWITT and their loser daughters ERIKA and EMILY HEWITT!

This batch of deadbeats rented our upper flat of our duplex in Wisconsin in late 2009 through early 2010. They were risky as their credit reports were peppered with various red flags, but after a very tearful "bearing of her soul" over the telephone we decided to give Jennifer and her family a second chance to get back on their feet. Damn me for having a soft heart, for these people proceeded to screw us out of thousands of dollars in rent and then, after a costly eviction process, proceeded to go ahead and trash our house on top of it. The filth they left behind was indescribable--including a major F**K YOU of leaving a pair of soiled woman's underwear in the washing machine and intentionally plugging up and burning out the drain and garbage disposal! They were also ordered to pay us back over $3K in damages and we were forced to garnish wages from Jennifer (as Bernie was fired from his job for undisclosed reasons. There was a burglary at his workplace just before his firing but he was not prosecuted for this crime as of my writing this) but the garnishing process is a JOKE! We have to file and re-file every 13 weeks, which also includes a filing fee of $130 each time, and we received a grand total of two payments from Jennifer's work to the tune of $140!!!

So watch out for these losers! And save yourself a lot of time and money when you face people like these. It's not worth going to court or hiring lawyers. They're neutered. Helpless and hapless. Just go grab the losers by the scruff of their necks and toss them out onto the streets and change the locks on the doors. Or go spray paint over their stolen logos. Sure, they might sue you...but apparently you don't have to really pay any restitution in this country even if you do lose. Or Canada! Trust me, it'd cost them a shitload of money to go after you...and losers like the Hewitt family or Hogan don't apparently have any money in the first place so they can't afford an attorney to go after you anyway.

And I will end this rant with my "BEST PERSON OF 2010" just so it's not a total downer of a blog.

STELLA ROSE KOSLOWSKI! Yep, she's the best and there's no debating it, folks. She kept me sane and as positive as I could possibly be. Her presence probably prevented me from killing the losers mentioned above as well...which wouldn't have been such a bad thing other than the prison time I'd have invariably faced.

Stella had a banner year as a great student and won two first places in two separate writing and art contests! She remains well-behaved and kind and caring towards others. I couldn't imagine a better daughter!

So even though there were a plethora of losers out there trying to tear me down Stella was there to more than compensate for their collected assholeishness and keep me on the positive side.

I will persevere thanks to her! and I look forward to a much better 2011.

Word.

R

Michael was only 60 when he passed--far too young for such a talented person. We'll certainly miss him here. If you haven't yet discovered their wonderful music I highly recommend doing so. "Red Moon" and "Let The Day Begin" are great places to start and Michael's solo effort "On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown."

Yes we will miss him but we also honor his memory and celebrate what he's left behind.

But here I am again...all for you.

So, some highlights (or lowlights as it were) of the time between my last two blogs...

Conventions! Been to a ton. Some good, some great, some awful! Baltimore and APE were great! The others fell somewhere between good and awful.

Brett Favre! Ha ha ha ha...OH MY GOD! I was in NY when the news hit of the Sexting. Truly entertaining stuff. He returned for one more shot at the Superbowl glory--to go out on top!--I think it's going to be about as rock-bottom as it gets for good old Brett, folks. And that's aside from the fact that the Vikings are imploding again(and Favre. AGAIN!)!!! More hilarity. Take that Vikings (and my brother Paul)! Good thing they picked up Randy Moss so they could put that final piece in the Superbowl puzzle!...Oh wait, they what?...They cut him after only having him there for three games??? What?!! That's outrageous. (soft giggles inserted here as I get all facetious).

When will Deanna Favre have had enough? Of course she's known of his shenanigans since they were dating in high school so I guess she's getting what she deserves.

MEGAMIND 3D. Go see it folks. It's another great effort from the fine folks over at Dreamworks. Visually amazing, funny, great story! Stella and I were fortunate enough to be invited to the San Francisco premiere during the APE con and had the time of our life. After the movie it was dinner and drinks at the city hall and MAN was that a treat! Food as far as the eye could see, 10 open bars and the most beautiful setting I've ever attended for any event! Whenever I have a movie made from one of my books I'm going to have to insist on that venue for the premiere!!! Actually Stella's already insisting...I'm afraid anything less will be a complete letdown for her.

What else, what else?....

Oh yes. I am finally rolling on my next graphic novel (series?). Can't say too much on it right now but I should be making an announcement sometime after the new Year. Oh, and it's going to be amazing, of course.

Also! Stella Koslowski took First Place in the Bookshop Santa Cruz Young Writers Contest last month! There were approximately 100 entries in her age group and she took top honors for her story "The Happy Times Mouse." The tears were a rollin' when I got that phone call, folks. So she won a 4^0 gift certificate and her story will be published along with all the other top winners in the other age groups and the book will be made available at the store. It will also be distributed to all the winner's school's libraries! A very cool thing indeed. I will, of course, be ordering about a thousand copies to hand out and brag on...and Stella will now have them for sale when she does signings at the conventions with me. A published author at the age of 8. Took me until I was 23 by gum!

Couldn't be prouder her.

BTW she kicked butt at APE selling sketches. She even got into the bartering and made many a sweet deal with other artists at the con. Watching her in action brought many more tears of pride to my eyes.

I guess those are the highlights since last time...BB's selling well, the book and cd set are about to ship to stores (or you can order here!), the reviews have been strong, Finders Keepers debuted to strong sales in NY at the con (also available here) and Russ is rockin' and rollin' on the marketing...And I'm enjoying the winter sunshine here in CA.

Okay, back to work on my new book! Can't wait till I have some art to show you all!

Word.

R

I had the Dairy Queen Mushroom Swiss Burger today here in Soquel, CA. It was reprehensible. DQ should be ashamed. Embarrassed for serving such an awful hamburger. This was BY FAR the worst hamburger I have ever tasted in my entire life. The second worst one was not even close and to dethrone today's atrocity would take a lot folks, lemme tell you. The bar has been set pretty darn low. DQ, if you're going to offer burgers on your menu at least make an effort. I mean, c'mon!...

Okay, so it comes out. It's flat. I mean the thing's about 1/2 of an inch thick total. I then notice a gelatanous, milky brown "substance" oozing out the sides. I peel back the top of the bun and see the 15 teeny little "mushrooms" sticking (literally) inside this apparent "gravy" that they have. I've never seen "gravy" on a mushroom swiss burger before?...What the...?! It's approximately the same consistency as that Slime we used to buy when we were kids...remember that stuff? Cool stuff but you don't want it on top of your burger, right?

So I look at my wife and she looks frightened. My daughter asks, "What's that?!" But I paid $4 for this thing so I'm putting the top of the bun back down and figuring, "Well, it might not taste as bad as it looks."

Wrong.

I take my first bite. And it requires effort. The burger patty was pretty tough folks. Having been in food service I instantly recognize the god-awful abomination that some idiot dreamed up years ago to "better serve" the customers...the "Food Warmer that lets your cooked patties that you prepared hours ago moistly swim in it's own juices for hours and still taste juicy fresh when served."

Wrong.

Those things should've been banned years ago and any respectable food joint should know better. The patty's tough, tasteless and dry. "Keeping warm" for hours--even fifteen minutes--sucks all the juices out, morons. Have you ever actually tried the damn things after they've sat in one of those abominations???

Okay, so I manage to choke down that first bite and I quickly remove the top bun again and scrape off all the gelatanous mushroom gravy concoction, add some ketchup and try bite two. Better, but not much. I'm not tasting anything remotely close to Swiss cheese...wasn't this a mushroom "Swiss" I ask myself? Peel top bun off again. The slice of swiss is translucent. I mean nearly invisible...a mere "suggestion" of a slice of cheese. Hence, the "not tasting any swiss cheese" part of my dining experience.

Okay, so now you're going to ask me "Why?" when you read this next line...I finished the whole thing.

Because I paid $4 for the damn thing and I'm not exactly swimming in money these days, all right?!

Plus, I want to see if it actually stays down. I mean, I just have to know! It was SO BAD that I want to see the full extent of its "Badness."

Oh, and the fries were pretty blah, too.

To be fair the Sprite I got from the soda dispenser was satisfactory.

Word.

R

p.s. Stella says her Hot Dog's bun had waaayyy too much butter on it, too. She chucked the bun halfway through and just ate the dog. She did like her ice cream sandwich, though.

Okay, that's better. Whoo!...So, as Brittany Spears would say, "Oops, Favre did it again!" And I only mention her because I hold them both in equal esteem. The best part is that for the past 2 years my big argument against Favre's "irreplaceability," that some Packer fans always argued (my older brother included, ad nauseam), was his always, ALWAYS "Favreing" up the game in the last seconds...always making that patented Favre interception when the team needed him most and when the team was poised, POISED to win the game! What the Favre, Favre??? And right before that last interception, when the Vikings were poised to win the game, I muttered softly--not really actually believing it possible--that "if Favre were still a Packer he'd throw an interception right now." AND THEN HE DOES!!!

What the!???...HOW THE!???...HOW--HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE THAT HE CONTINUES TO DO THIS!!!??? I mean, really, you'd think the law of averages would demand that in one of these playoffs he wouldn't Favre it up like this, wouldn't you?

Unbelievable. Well, not really. But REALLY!

So yeah, I'm happy that Favre and the Vikings fell flat again. I loved Favre as a Packer even though his "reckless gunslinger" act grew very, very old (see above "Favre ups" mentioned). And we all know of his tiresome off-season acts, and that's when I became a "Favre despiser." Hey, I love a good waffle (especially with strawberries, whipped cream and warm maple syrup), but I hater a waffler.

And I hate the Vikings. And their fans. So seeing them flop after, seemingly, another brilliant run towards the Superbowl was extremely gratifying. I shudder at the thought of having had to hear them incessantly brag for the next year (or 50) about having the "perennial Packer" finally bring them to the promised land--like they all did all regular season, my older brother Paul included. Ahhh...I can already hear the beautiful silence emanating from that side of the Mighty Mississippi and it's just delightful.

Yep, you got him Vikings fans...you landed the "perrenial Packer"...the "first ballot Hall-of Famer"..the record-breaking, touchdown throwing, longest consecutive games played streak, most touchdowns, most retirements and coming out of retirements, most interceptions and the biggest Favreing choker to ever play the game!

And so, in a very petty way, I will end this blog as it began by saying, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Ohhhh...so sweet.

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r

Pictured here is my daughter Stella's Christmas card for 2009. Entirely designed by her with just a few assists in Photoshop by pops. The star in the photo is Stella's cat, Cutie! I thought it was pretty darn clever, myself, and hope you all enjoy it.

We're going to celebrate today by going to see the new Princess & The Frog movie and then tomorrow we're going to follow up with taking Stella to see Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakel! It's just the three of us now that we've moved 2,300 miles away from our families so we're going to be laid back and non-committed and just r-e-l-a-x...

It should be pretty "drama-free" this year...ahhh, serenity now.

Word!

R & S